Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Goldmans bankers are lovin' it

An advertisment spotted on Facebook today, of all days. Well, I suppose the Goldmans bankers must be among the very few sections of society celebrating their good fortune today:

The banking industry appeared to have got off lightly in the spending review even as George Osborne pledged to extract the "maximum sustainable" tax revenue from the sector in the coming years.

As the chancellor prepared to announce details of his £2.5bn a year levy on bank balance sheets tomorrow, he won approval in the City for making clear that he was aware of the risks that some firms might leave London if the tax regime was more draconian than in other financial centres.

In contrast to his blitz on benefit-dependent sections of society, Osborne did not spell out any fresh policies on banks. Although he acknowledged public anger about high bonuses, he did not demand banks reduce payouts to staff.

Writes Jill Treanor.

'Ever wondered what sort of people are members of lifestyle concierge services?' the breathless advertising copy reads. A fair question, to which the straight answer is 'a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes'.

And just in case they haven't rubbed our noses in it enough, the copywriters go on to say:

The only limit to our service is your imagination. Here are just a few ways that Ten can help make life easier and more enjoyable:

   1. Our great relationships with the world’s best restaurants mean we can book tables that no-one else can
   2. Our entertainment team can put you on the guest-list for the best bars and clubs or help you plan your own party
   3. Thanks to our contacts in the industry, we can get you access to the hottest tickets, sold out events and VIP parties or film-premieres. We can also let you know whenever tickets for your favourite acts are about to go on sale
   4. Our travel team specialise in bespoke and luxury holiday packages and our destination specialists can advise on the best restaurants, things to see and places to visit
   5. For emergency assistance abroad, we’re only a phone call away. Our team speaks 19 languages fluently and we are available 24 hours a day
   6. Our motor team can help you whether you’re looking to buy a supercar or upgrade the family run-around
   7. If you’re looking to treat yourself, we could organise for you to have your own personal shopper, or our health and beauty specialists can arrange a visit to one of our favourite spas
   8. Use our reminder service for birthdays or special occasions - a member of our retail team can also recommend gifts or source you those hard-to-find items
   9. Moving house can be a stressful experience, but we can provide support in the run-up and on the day. Once you’ve moved in, our home team can find you good, reliable professional help, in the form of cleaners, gardeners, nannies and maintenance companies
  10. If you have children, our dedicated family experts can find you last-minute babysitters, recommend personal tutors, and offer advice on a variety of topics

Looks like those investment bankers are really having to tighten their belts along with the rest of us...