The man who fell to Earth

Google News headline/image pairings - the gift that goes on giving, at least for lazy bloggers...

"Nasa forced to deny there was a long-lost 'civilisation' on Mars after questioning by Republican congressman"*

If the MC who presides over that parallel universe called Eurovision came from a habitable planet Mars which exists in a slightly alternative reality, rather than from the Dublin suburb of Clondalkin, as he's always claimed, that would explain a few otherwise inexplicable mysteries. Including, for example, 2006 Eurovision winners Lordi:

  "On May 14, 2016, Lordi appeared in the interval act for the Eurovision Song Contest 2016, in a musical number satirising Eurovision songs."

The truth is out there.



Photo: Albin Olsson
License: CC BY-SA 4.0



* If it's inadvertent hilarity you're looking for, do follow the link to Andrew Griffin's piece in the Independent:

California Republican Dana Rohrbacher asked whether the fact that Mars once had a vastly different atmosphere meant that it could also have supported an entire civilisation that was now lost.

"You have indicated that Mars was totally different thousands of years ago," he said. "Is it possible that there was a civilization on Mars thousands of years ago?"

His question was answered by Kenneth Farley, who is a project scientist on the Mars 2020 rover mission and a professor of geochemistry at California Institute of Technology and was one of the scientists answering politicians' questions.

He pointed out that the "evidence is that Mars was different billions of years ago. Not thousands of years ago".

He also said that there is "no evidence that I'm aware of", that the planet was once inhabited.

That wasn't enough for Mr Rohrabacher, who asked: "Would you rule that out? See, there's some people... Well, anyway."

Professor Farley said that such a possibility was "extremely unlikely".

It isn't clear who Mr Rohrabacher was referring to when he suggested that "some people" think there was a civilisation on the planet. But there are a limited number of people who have proposed what they believe to be proof not only of ancient civilisations but existing ones – including a guest on Alex Jones's InfoWars programme who suggested that Nasa has put child sex slaves on the red planet.

In the light of this performance, maybe they need to change the boilerplate strapline which follows American political campaign adverts ("I'm Dana Rohrbacher and I approve this message"), to something more useful, like "You can't win. If you vote me in, I shall become more stupid than you can possibly imagine."

Old leaves turning

I passed this (cherry?) tree earlier today and the cascading speckle of ovals and rich, coppery colours were so stunningly perfect that I just had to go back for a picture. The most skilled jewellers have struggled for millennia to match the careless beauty that nature throws away every year.

In general, November is one of my least favourite months, promising nothing but deeper darkness, chill and ever more Christmas tat, with a side order of cabin fever until until the light starts coming back in mid-February, if you're lucky. Then, just when I've decided we're approaching the deepest, darkest pit of the year, nature comes up with one of her "I think to myself, what a wonderful world" moments and even I stop being a miserable old curmudgeon for a while.

Finnish musical oddities: Part 2

In which the Porkka Playboys take Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody and add a bit of trombone and accordion backing. And perform the whole number in an old VW Polo.'Nuff said. Take it away, boys.

Finland woefully unprepared to conquer Europe

With the Eurovision Song Contest 2011 looming, I predict that the Finns will soon be kicking themselves. The official Finnish entry seems to be something disappointingly safe called Da Da Dam, by some bloke called Paradise Oskar (not, I suspect, his real name). Lordi, he isn't. 95% pf people who listen to Da Da Dam will have forgotten it before Graham Norton and his pan-European colleagues have wrapped up this year's show.

As any fule with an Internet connection kno, the Finns should have entered Munamies. They are, after all, a nation with proud tradition of being completely mental to uphold. Munamies' song, Pomppufiilis, has been all over t'internet like a rash recently and, once seen, is impossible to forget (at least without an intensive course of electroconvulsive therapy). Click here if you've not already experienced the bouncing, squeaky-voiced mini-moomintroll who could so easily have conquered Europe, had more far-sighted counsels prevailed.


Via The Daily What, Miss Cellania and others to numerous to mention.