Fifty shades of May

Joy unconfined, hip, hip hooray!
It's British independence day!
O, masochistic isles UK,
Unite and through your ball gags say,
"Thank you, thank you, Mistress May!"

We're glad you were so quick and nifty,
Invoking Article number fifty,
Though your reasoning was shifty,
The chancellor has got your drift, he
knows our future's mean and thrifty.

If it hadn't been for you,
We wouldn't have our Empire Two,
To show those foreigners who's who,
Nor ten years more of crisis, too,
You spoil us, Tess, you really do!

Let me peel you a fresh grape!
To thank you for the new red tape,
And saving us from foreign rape,
Not to mention Johnson's jape,
(Bananas of non-bendy shape).

We're glad we won't be free to move,
It will be worth it to reprove,
The migrant hordes we don't approve.
We're so excited now that you've,
Found some rights you can remove.

So just stop thinking and believe,
Those big employers will not leave,
Those Brexiters would not deceive,
More money than you can conceive,
Will save the NHS, don't grieve!

To get a deal is just child's play,
No matter what the experts say,
We'll force them to see things our way,
Or cause a very loud affray,
We are not worthy, Mistress May!