Friday, 29 April 2016

Financial genius vindicates Thatcher

"Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country" said Margaret Thatcher at the beginning of her prime ministerial career. Only she won't be, because the two things are completely different:
Take, for example, the idea that the government's finances are like a household budget. This is obviously wrong. "When I find money is tight, I just print some more". You can't because you don't have a currency-issuing central bank in your living room.
And that was that myth apparently busted, until a bloke called Allan Peter Smith unexpectedly proved Maggie right by issuing a currency from his living room. Peter Of England, as Mr Smith prefers to call himself, has a completely legitimate business, the Stoke-onTrent-based WeRe Bank, which proves that you can just print your own currency, and run your finances like a country.

The enterprising and public-spirited Mr Smith must have sworn only to use his currency-issuing powers for good, because he's selflessly offering you lucky punters the chance to get out of debt by exchanging just fifty five of your British pounds (plus set-up fee, membership fee and a promissory note to pay WeRe Bank £155,000) for a book of cheques promising to pay your creditors in the currency known as Re ("The PlanetReServe© Currency of Choice for all free and sovereign beings budded* on this planet, payable for work at Re12 per hour – ReTime = Exchangeable for food, goods and services anywhere, anytime and by anyone!").

What could possibly go wrong? After all, Mr Smith has provided a clear and totally plausible explanation of how his currency-issuing business works:
WeRe Bank has infinite energy supply based on access to the Universal Supply of Energy [USE]

WeRe Bank will accept a promissory note from you to help you begin to understand the simplicity of a system of monetary exchange whereby you can trade energy (your own freely and independently given) for goods and services. In effect all that WeRe bank does is allow you to become your OWN BANKER in return for a membership fee to ReMovement. It is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY THAT YOU JOIN WITH US TO DO IT, though you may ask: “Well, why don’t I just do it then myself?”

The reason you MUST JOIN through us is that on your own, you will be scooped up and destroyed by the forces reigned against you – after all STRENGTH IS UNITY AND UNITY IS STRENGTH.
So there you have it. The national finances are like a household budget, if the householder happens to be a bloke from Stoke who can issue a completely real currency that you can totally use to pay off your mortgage, car loan, credit card, bank loan, etc.

There will always be carping sceptics who insist that visionaries like Allan Peter Smith are "obviously wrong", but such people are going to look very foolish when confronted by the evidence of millions of satisfied customers who've all successfully paid off their debts using the PlanetReServe© (the Currency of Choice for all free and sovereign beings budded on this planet).
"How would you like to pay? PlanetReServe©? That'll do nicely..."

*I was born, rather than budded, myself, but you have to admire the inclusivity of a currency designed to meet the financial needs of sentient polyps.