Thursday, 12 March 2015

Salmond fishing in the prefects' common room

The Head Prefect has been giving one of the oiks a stern ticking off, bellowing that 'you are weak and despicable and want to crawl to power in Alex Salmond's pocket.' Well, that's him told.

Except, as any fule kno, Nicola Sturgeon has been the leader of the Scottish Nationalist Party, and First Minister of Scotland, since last November. Was the PM just getting a bit confused '(Sturgeon, Salmond ... I know it has something to do with fish?')? Or did Ms Sturgeon not register on his radar because she's a woman ('Of course I'm not sexist, calm down, dear!'). Or has the Conservative Party in Scotland been a lost cause for so long that they no longer know or care who they're up against? Or did he know about the change of leader, but choose to ignore it, because Salmond is a better bogeyman, having held the posts for long enough to make more mistakes and enemies than the new leader / First Minister?

Maybe he just realised that the idea of Ed trying to get into Nicola's pocket would only cause sniggering on the back benches.

I don't know, but it's not just the Prime Minister. Somebody also needs to have a quiet word in the ear of whoever's photoshopping the Conservatives' election posters:
I say, couldn't we find a better photo? That little chap looks nothing like Gordon Brown...