Quality assurance

I’d like to take a moment to thank those under-appreciated heroes of marketing who’ve been on an urgent mission to ensure that, as far as humanly possible, all items of mass-market casual wear on sale anywhere in the world now have the word “authentic” written on them somewhere.

I’m deeply grateful for the reassurance that almost every piece of informal clothing that I’ve ever bought, or might conceivably think of buying, is clearly labelled, so I can be sure that I’m buying a totally authentic facsimile of something vaguely similar to something that might once have been worn by a real cowboy /1950’s high school kid / preppy Ivy League college student with perfect dentition, nice hair and improbably good-looking friends, vacationing in some idyllic Kennedy clan-style wilderness retreat in upstate Maine. Or whatever.

It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it. For saving the world from the tragic human consequences of inauthentic leisurewear, I salute you all.

Don’t ever stop, guys. The world can never have enough authenticity. Really.