Wednesday, 28 March 2012


You Know What Those Cadbury Chocolates Need? A Little More Cheese
It seems that the Brits are a tad pipped over Kraft Food’s planned acquisition of Cadbury, the iconic British candy company. They worry that Kraft, the maker of Velveeta processed cheese and Oscar Mayer hot dogs, will drag down Cadbury’s oh-so premium reputation.

Today, Kraft’s CEO Irene Rosenfeld sought to calm these fears, saying, “We have great respect for Cadbury’s brands, heritage and people.” Rosenfeld also used the opportunity to announce a new line of products that would adapt the Cadbury brands to American tastes and also promote synergies between the two company’s product lines. The brand extension includes three new flavors of Cadbury Creme Eggs:
  • Creme Cheez: a chocolate egg filled with Cheez Whiz
  • Steak Creme: a chocolate egg filled with A1 Steak Sauce and wrapped in bacon
  • Miracle Creme: a chocolate egg filled with a mixture of Miracle Whip and Grey Poupon
Happy Valley News Hour January 21 2010

Well, I haven't seen any creme eggs with misspelled ersatz cheese filling on pre-Easter sale this year but, after Kraft's re-engineering and right-sizing of Cadbury's human capital, the prophecy has come to pass. Lo, the brands have been extended and, as the prophets foretold, even so hath the synergies been promoted:

Philadelphia with Cadbury

...a blend of cool, creamy, Light Philadelphia with delicious Cadbury milk chocolate. It’s a fabulous snacking sensation. Sounds wrong, but at 86 calories per serving, it’s oh so right! 
2011 advertising copy from the Kraft food conglomerate.

To be fair, your standard creme egg was the most disgusting Cadbury product ever, so "spoiling" the chocolate-coated blob of sickly-sweet gloop with procesed cheese would have been no great crime in my book.