I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything

Stephen Hester, CEO of the Royal Bank of Scotland, was being interviewed on the radio this morning, at what looks like the start of another global financial meltdown. I actually heard him tell the interviewer that the 2008 global financial crisis was 'not a banking crisis.'* As he seems to inhabit some sort of alternate reality, perhaps he wouldn't mind taking investment advice from a fictional pre-school child:

"Occasionally my mummy has the radio on when I am having lunch in the kitchen and even though I am not really paying attention and am far more interested in the way in which my peas and carrots have been arranged into a rather manic, smiling face, I was able to work out for myself that investing in Greek government bonds would be, at best, inadvisable.

"I was three at the time."

She added: "I am sure that many will say that I could not possibly have garnered the experience necessary to run a major international financial institution given that much of my time has been spent chasing the cat with a spoon.

"But I'm not sure the Royal Bank of Scotland can actually withstand another 24 hours of being run by someone with a banking qualification.

Gemma Logan, aged four, doesn't really exist.

Stephen Hester is 50 years old.


* It was on the Today programme, if anybody cares.