Smartify everything

After many paragraphs of hype, evangelists for the Internet of Things usually fail to convince me that connecting every conceivable device in sight to the Internet solves some pressing problem more effectively than, say, pressing a simple on/off switch.

IoT septics usually take fewer than 140 characters to convince me that this is almost always a really terrible idea:

your car will become a data center containing as many as 100+ interconnected servers #IoT #M2M http://t.co/qtndvGgMLB pic.twitter.com/6wRClz4cBe

— Fabio Moioli (@fabiomoioli) September 11, 2015

next thing you know your guitar starts doing a software update while you're playing a concert pic.twitter.com/o0PNChyRto

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) October 30, 2015

The internet of Things, where you have to replace your thermostat, door locks and kettle if you switch to Android

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) October 29, 2015

For some reason this company wants to connect your bike lights to the internet pic.twitter.com/UoTyTxMd5m

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) October 23, 2015

in the future your devices want to endorse you on linkedin pic.twitter.com/77zEGxAeDW

— Owen Williams (@ow) October 28, 2015

My central heating is stuck on because my thermostat can't connect to the Internet pic.twitter.com/Pk7mt1tVhY

— Owen Williams (@ow) October 15, 2015

can't wait for someone to steal my bike because the padlock wasn't encrypted right https://t.co/W7Njgkidxr

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) October 28, 2015

syncing your conversations to the NSA https://t.co/kqbsyGF1Eq

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) October 28, 2015

Let this creepy gadget called 'mother' monitor everything you do pic.twitter.com/oDLFXs0cGq

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) August 29, 2015

I don't think there's anything more I can add, apart from tagging this post under "bad ideas." Bless you, @internetofshit.