The last Trump

I'm mostly bored with Tronald Dump now - there are only so may times the one-trick phoney can boost his personal brand with outbursts of embarrassing obnoxiousness before the running gag starts to wear thin. But I'm having one last Trumpism for the road, because this excerpt from a CNN interview is so bad it's almost impressive, an astonishing Trump Tower-sized monument to a life of single-minded dedication to the goal of becoming a truly colossal asshat:

Picture this: Trump and the Pope, face-to-face. And the Pope tells the mogul that capitalism can be toxic.

How would Trump reply?

"I'd say, 'ISIS wants to get you,'" Trump said, when asked by Cuomo about that hypothetical scenario. "You know that ISIS wants to go in and take over the Vatican? You have heard that. You know, that's a dream of theirs, to go into Italy," Trump said.

Cuomo, taken aback, asked if Trump would actually scare the Pope, who is coming to the U.S. for his first visit next month.

"I'm gonna have to scare the Pope because it's the only thing," Trump said.

What, as they say, does this even mean? How in the name of sanity is ISIS relevant to whatever the hell the Pope happens to think of capitalism? Does Donald  really want to remind everybody of that time El Chapo wanted to get him and Donald Chicken ran squawking to the feds like a flappy big crybaby? Does he think that 'Speak loudly and carry a teeny-weeny stick' sounds classy and presidential?

These are the words of a guy who wants to be president, in a scheduled interview with a global media outlet, but if you were reading the transcript without names, you'd swear it was just some rambling drunk calling a late-night phone in on local radio. Astonishing.

It's no good. Just reading Trump's words is making me dumber by the moment. It's time to quit rubbernecking this particular car crash. I've only one more thing to say on the subject, which I think covers more or less everything anybody could ever possibly need to know about anything that Donald Trump might conceivably have to say about any subject, in any imaginable future situation.

Happily for Donald Trump he's rich enough not to be scared of speaking his mind.

Sadly for Donald Trump, he does.

I can't think of anything else that I'll ever need to say about the man, so from now on, this blog is a Trump-free zone. Please excuse me while I go take a shower to wash the stupid out of what's left of my hair.