Kill your family for fun and profit

'Throw your family at a new Fiat 500L from just £12, 995' suggests the subject line of an e-mail recently purged from my spam bin, which is a terrible piece of advice for budding familicides. To be absolutely sure of getting rid of troublesome family members, you need to chuck them at a bus or, at the very least, a hefty 4 x 4.

The e-mail purports to come from a car dealership in St Leonards, East Sussex, a claim I didn't bother to verify by reading the header before deleting the thing, because life's too short. In the unlikely event that anybody from a company by the name of Amber Sales is reading this, you need to know one of two things. Either:

• some piece of Internet pond scum is besmirching your good name by hijacking it to spew out spam - if so, I wish you luck in disassociating yourselves from the said miscreant

or (if you really are the people responsible for stress-testing my spam filter)

• it's time consider throwing your copywriter - and yourselves - at a vehicle somewhat larger than a Fiat 500.