Thursday, 14 November 2013

Covered by the Aspiration Association

Your car breaks down. There you are, stuck on the hard shoulder, in the pouring rain, miles from home. But it's OK, because you've got roadside recovery, provided by the AA (the Aspiration Association - not to be confused with another recovery organisation with a coincidentally similar name).

You ring the emergency number and explain that the mechanism that used to make you mobile is broken and has ground to a halt. At last, after a long wait in the rain, you spot a shiny new AA van, which pulls over in front of you. Out climbs Dave, a smartly-dressed mechanic, who immediately locates the source of the trouble:
'It's your aspiration, chief. We get this all the time - lucky it's easy to fix. Your problem, see, is that you settled for a bog-standard, mid-range hatchback, when you should have been aspiring to excellence. Take me, for example - I've always aspired to have a nice motor and it's always worked for me. These days, I only use a good, solid Range Rover , still in warranty, or an armoured, custom-built Jaguar XJ Sentinel with a supercharged 5 litre V8. I don't touch anything conventionally aspirated no more, me. And do you ever see me stuck by the side of the road, going nowhere? 'Course not!

Anyway, it's been a pleasure chatting, but my work here is done, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way. You know how it is, busy, busy, busy, always more people to help. Drive carefully, now...'
Before you have time to say 'But the car's still still broken down!', Dave's back in his cab and the recovery van has pulled out into the traffic, its dwindling tail lights quickly lost in the rain and spray.