Friday, 27 April 2012

Brides of Dracula

Vampire Dermal Therapy

An amount of your plasma is taken and separated into platelet rich and platelet poor plasma. The rich plasma is injected sub dermally into wrinkles and areas needing rejuvenation.

This is a piece of genuine copy for a real beauty treatment, currently being punted to ladies who lunch, at two hundred quid per face.

Truly, the living dead are among us.

To be fair, it's a canny piece of marketing. After all, colonic irrigation's been around for a long time now and there has to be a market for a more on-trend medical-sounding intervention to relieve Hollywood starlets and bored golfing wives from the pent-up discomfort of all that excess money. And the word "vampire" exudes an altogether more classy image of sexiness than having a hosepipe stuffed up your bottom for no very good reason.

The name "vampire dermal therapy" conjures up the dangerous allure of the vamp, from Theda Bara to the ubiquitous sexy vampires of contemporary pop culture; when I imagine colonic irrigation, I think of a freshly de-gibleted chicken having its body cavity washed out. If you're a well-off wannabe siren-goddess, I'd say it's no contest (it must be a real bummer if you're a needle-phobic alt-med fadster, though).