The world's most powerful people vs the world's most powerful biscuit

According to a list in Forbes magazine last year:

There are 6.8 billion people on the planet. Here are the 68 who matter.

Not on the list? Never mind. Now that the plutocrats' parish magazine has confirmed your status as a complete waste of DNA, you might as well relax and spend your worthless time contemplating the Oreo cookie. The Oreo is, according to Edible Geography.com, 'the most powerful cookie in the world.'

I found this arresting claim in a splendidly-titled article, The Unsung Heroes of Biscuit Embossing, which cheered me up so much that I quite got over Forbes' pronouncement that every single person I know and love, almost everybody I've ever admired, everyone I've ever met, as well as almost every one of the other six-billion-odd humans on this planet, is utterly pointless. You can share the joy of  The Unsung Heroes of Biscuit Embossing here.

Going back to Forbes' list of the great and ... er ... good, I'm struck by how much nicer our planet could be if we just retired a few of the A-list global movers and shakers and replaced them with biscuits. Wouldn't the world be a cheerier place if the King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al Saud  was deposed in favour of a custard cream? Silvio Berlusconi (and family) are well past their sell-by date. What Italy needs now is a new Garibaldi.

If Jesus can be a wafer, the Vatican could retire the Pope in favour of a Tunnocks Wafer biscuit. The Church would gain the unique selling point of being the only major faith group headed by a small chocolate-coated snack built from layers of crunchy wafer biscuit and chewy caramel. They'd save a fortune on fancy hats, too.

Several things have moved on since 2010, including the careers of Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Osama bin Laden, so two tempting substitutions are denied us, but I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.