Wanted ad

I've always felt depressed and intimidated by job advertisements. I'm a reasonably intelligent, conscientious, responsible, literate person, with fair problem-solving skills, capable of occasional bursts of creative flair, but after reading the requirements of two or three wanted ads, I generally feel totally useless and practically unemployable. I'm beginning to realise why I feel so alienated and uncomfortable. Most of these adverts are written by and for self-promoting extroverts, and emphasise traits that are totally alien and exhausting for introverts to fake. I came across this pastiche of of a job advert that would make introverts feel at ease, (it's a bit exaggerated, but not much):

• Must not be a team player
• Must work best in a quiet environment
• Must live in their head for the majority of time
• Must not be a multi-tasker
• Must like to work in solitude
• Must not co-mingle with other staff members

Via Suite 101. As I say, a bit exaggerated - I'm not quite that anti-social, and can be quite personable in between tasks requiring close attention, but when I'm doing something, I do like to get my head down and do it, rather than half doing it whilst exchanging small talk about football, the X Factor, or what somebody in accounts allegedly said about the branch manger. As for being a team player, I generally try to pull my weight, but I don't do the sort of "multi-tasking" and "team playing" games that all too often involve sucking up to the boss whilst plunging the knife between a colleague's shoulder blades.