Golf in unfortunate trousers

For many people the prospect of a comfortable retirement is becoming a mirage, moving further off into the distance as they approach it. At least, as Simon Schama said this week, "It beats death, decay or golf in unfortunate trousers".

Quite right, too - old age and poverty may be frightening, but at least they're not as bad as golf. As Linda Smith once said:

...proper sport being football and cricket and nothing else. Everything else is a game
or a pastime. Except golf. Which is an abomination, encouraging bloated publicans
and estate agents to waddle about a twee and artificial landscape in lurid tight-fitting
pastel jumpers like pregnant Teletubbies.