British values checker

I would say servitude, intolerance, disdain for the rule of law, belief in personal and societal fecklessness and contempt for British institutions - those are the sorts of things that I would hope would be inculcated into the curriculum in any school in Britain.

David Cameron's attempt to define British values, after being run through the late Simon Hoggart's excellent bullshit filter, the Law of the Ridiculous Reverse, which states that 'if the opposite of a statement is plainly absurd, it was not worth making in the first place.'

Other remedies for trapped wind are available