Thursday, 11 November 2010

Cameron condemns badly-dressed student vandals

On Thursday Prime Minister David Cameron condemned as ‘unseemly’ violence at a demonstration in London against his government's plans to increase tuition fees for students.

Speaking to the BBC, the Prime Minister said:

I saw pictures of people who were bent on violence and on destruction and on destroying private property and that is completely unacceptable.

Speaking as a former Bullingdonian, I fully accept that a young chap may sometimes need to engage in a bit of high-spirited horseplay and trash the occasional restaurant in order to let off a little steam, but it is quite clear that the students who broke into Millbank Tower were inappropriately dressed for the occasion. None of the individuals I saw on the television had made the slightest effort to don a navy-blue tailcoat with a velvet collar, a dapper waistcoat or even so much as a club tie.

No Bullingdonian would have behaved in such an unbecoming manner. As any gentleman could have told those students, the correct form when organising a destructive rampage is to book a private dining room under an assumed name, get bally well plastered, then wreck the place. After a rollicking good night, one’s valet should be dispatched to the premises in question, bearing a cheque sufficient to engage tradespeople to make good the damage, along with a friendly reminder that any restaurateur foolish enough to consider contacting the press or police, would incur the wrath of one’s pater, who could make life dashed uncomfortable.

Such vulgar behaviour by students is a clear vindication of our settled intention to put higher education beyond of the reach of the lower orders, who clearly lack the breeding and savoir-faire to benefit from a sojourn in the jolly old halls of academe.

We need to make sure that this behaviour does not go unpunished and, should the police prove incapable of keeping these oiks off our property, I’ve a mind to order my manservant to go and give them all a damn good thrashing.