Thursday, 28 April 2011

Open letter to Deputy Assistant Commissioner Lynne Owens

Help Protect Wills and Kate

Well-wishers flocking to the Royal wedding are told by police that they can help guard William and Kate from terrorists, anarchists and crazed stalkers.

The Daily Express

Dear Deputy Assistant Commissioner,

Thank you very much for offering me the position of Unpaid Human Shield with the Royalty Protection branch (SO14), as advertised in the Daily Express. I have seriously considered this challenging opportunity to spy on suspected subversives and to risk injury or death in the unlikely event of actually encountering a real terrorist, anarchist, or crazed stalker.

Although it has been a very difficult decision, I have concluded that in order for me to care less, you would have to remove the word "care" from the dictionary, so I will therefore have to decline your kind offer.

 I do appreciate the courtesy you have extended to me and my fellow subjects by making this generous offer, and I wish you well in your endeavours.

Yours, etc...







The Axolotl


I've never met an axolotl
But Harvard has one in a bottle
Perhaps - and at the thought I shiver -
The very villain from Fall River
Where Lizzie Borden took an axolotl
And gave her mother forty whaxolotl.
Wrote Ogden Nash, the man who also observed that although you are only young once, you can stay immature indefinitely (rather like the axolotl). Unlike the axolotl and its batrachian brethren you probably can't regenerate a lost limb, though.

Image courtesy of the RIKEN Center for Developmental Biology

Via

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Idiots give Darwin a break

And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

Genesis 1:16

Interesting developments in the wacky world of religious fundamentalism. Hardcore Bible-heads in Waco, Texas, have been taking time out from their favourite pastime of furiously denouncing evolutionists as Satan's little helpers, only to take offence at a whole new group of scientists - astronomers and planetary scientists:

Bill Nye, the harmless children's edu-tainer known as "The Science Guy," managed to offend a select group of adults in Waco, Texas at a presentation, when he suggested that the moon does not emit light, but instead reflects the light of the sun....

The lesser light, he pointed out, is not a light at all, but only a reflector.

At this point, several people in the audience stormed out in fury. One woman yelled "We believe in God!" and left with three children, thus ensuring that people across America would read about the incident and conclude that Waco is as nutty as they'd always suspected.

To be fair, this article, which was strangely posted under "latest news" on the Butterflies and Wheels web site yesterday, first appeared on the Think Atheist blog in February 2009, but it's still pretty extraordinary. I wonder what would have happened if the speaker had been Neil Armstrong himself, providing eyewitness testimony?

Crazy Woman (angrily): We believe in God!

Armstrong: Ma'am, I've been there. I've stood on it and I've walked on it and I can assure you that it does not emit light. It's made of rock.
Would Crazy Woman have accepted his word, or would we have witnessed a new alliance between people who are crazy enough to believe in creationism and people who are crazy enough to believe that the moon landings were faked in a in a Hollywood studio?

Whatever. Assuming the Bill Nye incident actually happened and isn't a wind-up (the link to the original article in the Waco Tribune no longer works, but then it is old news), I'm pleased for evolutionary scientists, who can take a temporary break from explaining yet again how inescapably colossal the mountain of evidence supporting the Theory of Evolution really is. On the other hand I'm a bit sorry for astronomers, who already waste enough time debunking fools who keep challenging them to disprove astrology, however many times it's already been debunked...

Monday, 25 April 2011

Yesterday's news

I don’t think that the British Empire was a benevolent institution, or that occupying other people’s land and denying them self-determination, whilst systematically exploiting their resources was morally defensible. I did once believe that the British Empire, although indefensible, was the least worst among recent empires. The Heart of Darkness was inspired by the Belgian King Leopold II’s hideous misrule of the Congo, a nightmare of brutality and exploitation that horrified even Europe’s other imperial powers. Even before his descent into the heart of darkness, Conrad’s Marlow was confident that the British Empire was doing ‘some real work’

Deal table in the middle, plain chairs all round the walls, on one end a large shining map, marked with all the colours of a rainbow. There was a vast amount of red -- good to see at any time, because one knows that some real work is done in there, a deuce of a lot of blue, a little green, smears of orange, and, on the East Coast, a purple patch, to show where the jolly pioneers of progress drink the jolly lager-beer.

The Belgian Congo became slightly less horrific in the Twentieth Century when it became a Belgian colony (as opposed to King Leopold’s personal fiefdom), but some degree of misrule and oppression continued until independence (don't believe everything you read in the Tintin comics). The transition to independence itself was grudging, chaotic and violent, with the departing Belgians conspiring with the CIA to murder the first elected Prime Minister of the new Republic of the Congo, Patrice Lumumba, a secessionist war in the province of Katanga, and a UN peacekeeping force being called in to sort out the mess.

Italy fought a colonial war in Ethiopia in the 19th Century (and was soundly beaten), but came back under Mussolini in the 1930’s, carving out the short-lived colony of Italian East Africa with aerial bombardment, poison gas, the execution of prisoners and collective punishment. They were only ousted by the advent of a world war.

German colonists in what is now Namibia exterminated between 30,000 and 110,000 of the Herero and Namaqua people in what is generally considered the 20th Century’s first genocide.

The French in Algeria became hated for systematically expropriating the local’s land.  They withdrew from Algeria not with orderly negotiations, but a vicious war involving torture, attacks on civilians and hundreds of thousands of casualties. There was more colonial land theft in French Indochina (AKA Vietnam). The result? Well, let’s just say that they didn’t get out of that one cleanly, either.

The oldest of the European overseas empires ended badly, too, in the Portuguese Colonial War, a bloody guerrilla struggle that killed thousands in Portugal’s African colonies and left Angola, Mozambique and Guinea-Bissau with decades-long legacy of political instability, lack of civil rights, high infant mortality rates, unemployment and malnutrition.

And that’s without even mentioning the horrors of Japanese colonialism in the first half of the 20th Century. So, in comparison, the Brits weren’t all that bad, were they? Historians like Niall Fergusson seem to think so. But that's only half the story.

I didn’t know a great deal about the Mau Mau uprising that took place in Kenya (then British East Africa) from 1952 to 1960. I’d heard snippets from parents, presumably based on contemporary news reports that treated the Mau Mau rebels as vicious terrorists committing atrocities against white settlers.

Those news reports missed out a few things. Firstly the cause of the Mau Mau rebellion – the systematic expropriation of Kikuyu lands in the Kenyan Highlands by force and by legal sleight of hand. The same sort of thing that made the French so unpopular in Algeria and Vietnam. The rebels rebelled (as they do) and the authorities cracked down.

For “cracked down”, read extra-judicial death-squads, collective punishment, sadistic torture and the mass internment of civilians in brutal, disease-ridden camps. 'Short rations, overwork, brutality, humiliating and disgusting treatment and flogging—all in violation of the United Nations Universal Declaration on Human Rights' was how one British colonial officer described life in the camps.

In 2011, papers documenting the suppression of the Mau Mau revolt were found and details published in the Times. The British had flown the documents out of Kenya on the eve of independence, because – according to a Foreign Office Official – they might cause embarrassment. ‘Embarrassment hardly covers it,’ a Times editorial drily commented, continuing ‘the covert history of colonial administration in Kenya bears comparison to the methods of torture and summary execution in the French war in Algeria.’ (no link, as the article is behind the paywall). The fact that the father and grandfather of the most powerful man in the world were Kenyans, locked up by the British for being involved in the independence movement* presumably does nothing to make the chaps at the Foreign Office feel any more comfortable. President Obama's grandfather, Hussein Onyango Obama, may even have been tortured by the British.

It’s not as if the British couldn’t have known better – they’d seen foreigners doing this sort of stuff from the Belgian Congo to Belsen. As a Guardian editorial put it. ‘there is something peculiarly chilling about the way colonial officials behaved, most notoriously but not only in Kenya, within a decade of the liberation of the concentration camps and the return of thousands of emaciated British prisoners of war from the Pacific.’

For those with a strong stomach, Gary Brecher has been reading Caroline Elkins’ Imperial Reckoning: The Untold Story of Britain's Gulag in Kenya, and gives a pithy summary of Britain’s dirty little colonial war

One of the frightening things about the Mau Mau uprising was the way that effective public relations triumphed and buried the truth. People of my parents’ generation read about it in the papers and went away with the impression that the uprising was just a bunch of fanatical terrorists attacking defenceless settlers for no good reason. We were the good guys. Nothing more to see here, move along…

They must have occasionally seen reports of the killing and chaos in the Congo, Algeria, French Indo-China, Angola and Mozambique and felt a quiet sense of pride that the British abroad had been so much more civilized and our exit from empire so much more orderly and peaceful. The British authorities were almost able to airbrush the whole episode out of history. The latest documents, along with some earlier leaks, mean they didn't quite succeed, but it’s already fifty years on, yesterday’s news. Justice delayed is, as they say, justice denied. It makes you wonder how many other stories have been deftly managed until it’s far too late to help the victims or bring the guilty to justice.

*this was before the Mau Mau uprising but, even so, I’ll bet they’ve been squirming…

Friday, 22 April 2011

Go 30 days without news

I'm a bit of a news junkie, waking up to radio news most days. When I go away on holiday, I tend to stop following the news. When I get back I invariably find I haven't missed anything important. Maybe that means I should do something to control my addiction. Rolf Dobelli gives a few more reasons to kick the news habit, most of them pretty convincing. To paraphrase:

  • News focuses on visible and dramatic stories, crowding out the more subtle but probably more important things that are going on.
  •  Most news is irrelevant - in the last year, how many news items helped you to make a better decision about something that was important in your life? My guess is 'not many.' 
  •  We waste too much of our limited attention trying to follow an endless stream of decontextualised news bubbles, losing mental space and the important skills of concentration, focus and analysis.
  • When did a news story last change your mind about an important issue? My guess here would be 'not recently?' If the news you consume isn't challenging your assumptions about the world, is it really informing you or is it just feeding cognitive errors like confirmation bias and story bias (our preference for an explanatory narrative even when the truth is that nobody really knows the full facts)?
  •  If you don't know that a large proportion of 'news' is actually PR, opinion or propaganda, you'll be misled. If you do know this, the more news you consume, the more exhausting the process of trying to separate truth from spin.

On top of all that, Rolf Dobelli says:

'Reported facts are sometimes wrong, forecasts always.'

'News stories are overwhelmingly about things you cannot influence. This sets readers up to have a fatalistic outlook on the world.'

'News kills creativity. Things we already know limit our creativity. This is one reason that mathematicians, novelists, composers and entrepreneurs often produce their most creative works at a young age. They are oblivious to much that has been tried before. Their brains enjoy a wide, uninhabited space that emboldens them to come up with and pursue novel ideas.'
Read the whole thing here.

I don't think I'll be going completely cold turkey for 30 day, but I will try to cut out deliberate news consumption for two or three days a week, just to see if it frees up some head space. But not before I've fired up Google Reader to see what's new on my favourite blogs. I can stop whenever I want to, honest...

Via

Saturday, 16 April 2011

Weekend link dump

Just a few things I'd bookmarked, in no particular order...

Lysistrata redux

Greedy libertarians- an accountant speaks out

Pakistan's plague of spiders

Student debt - US style

Dandelions - if you can't beat 'em, eat 'em (via MetaFilter)

Here are some I made earlier...

fluffy is puffy

It is 10 times more secure to use "this is fun" as your password, than "J4fS<2".

Thomas Baekdal explains why it makes sense to use passwords you can actually remember, rather than ones so obscure that you either forget them, or have to write them down. Filed under "this shouldn't need pointing out, but it does."